For five plus years, I survived off my creativity.
Then one day, it all went black.
I couldn’t think. I couldn’t create. I couldn’t provide. And the darker it got, the more I started questioning whether the version of me I built my whole life around was even still there.
At the same time, AI was taking over everything. Everywhere I looked, there was something faster, cheaper, more instant, and everyone had access to it. And during a creative block, that’ll mess with you.
It made me feel like maybe I had already lost. Like maybe the thing I spent years sharpening had become disposable. Like maybe I wasn’t needed anymore. So I disappeared into myself for a while. I went back into real estate, ‘cause that was the only thing I knew that felt somewhat stable.
And somewhere in that process, I realized how much of my identity had been tied to being able to make something happen.
If I could create, I could survive.
If I could hustle, I could provide.
Until I couldn’t.
A couple months ago, I designed this tote during that season. I screen printed fifty of them, shot ‘em, and had everything ready for a brand I was working on for months. And then I walked away from it. That’s how low my confidence was. I wasn’t the same person any more.
Then last week during a six hour drive, I prayed. Not for money or for a business idea. I just asked God to show me something. Show me something I can pour myself into that didn’t involve a profit. Give me a reason to believe I wasn’t finished.
And suddenly, I started seeing these billboards.
Yellow background. Big red letters.
The same visual language as the bag I had already designed and buried. I can’t explain what that did to me. It felt like being answered in a language only I would understand.
Art.
Maybe I didn’t lose my creativity. Maybe I had to lose my dependence on it. Maybe I had to learn that the gift was never the source.
I spent years trusting my hustle to carry me. Now I’m learning to trust God enough to create again. It’s like I asked for direction, and he answered in art.
#getmoneyprayoften